2 Weeks Notice

There’s less than two weeks left of Project. Can you believe that? I’m sorry that I haven’t updated you lately. So much has happened and the business of it all has made me shirk from certain duties, including this blog.

Well, I can’t tell you that it has been super easy without staff. In fact, it’s gotten harder. Many of us have jobs and so it’s been a challenge learning how to juggle them with our new positions in the community. In addition, many of us have felt that we’ve been under spiritual warfare. Despite these lows, I believe we bonded even closer because of them and therefore we have grown stronger as a community. For me, the first week without staff ran pretty smooth. I only had two shifts that week, so I had plenty of free time for discipleship and planning Bible studies. That week we focused on servant-hood and I got to wash my disciples’ feet, which was a humbling and funny experience ‘cause all my girls were giggling (I think it was just a shock of the whole experience and the fact that they might be ticklish). I also was filled with boldness to talk to one of those condemning preachers on the Promenade (the guys that use loud speakers and tell people to repent or they are banished to Hell) and as a result, I met a Christian Lebanese family, who were also compelled to speak to that man. It was just really cool to meet other Christians who wanted others to speak about God’s grace and love. 

And then the past week we focused on our identity in Christ. I think this past week has been especially hard for me because I felt like I was being pulled in all different directions and could not satisfyingly devote myself to every cause. You see, my sister was getting married and I’m her maid of honor so I so wanted to be by her side and comfort her in tough times; and then I have family visiting (because of the wedding) and I wanted to be able to spend time with them and serve them; and I also have Project… so you can see that I had a lot of things on my mind and heart. Oh, and I had a shift scheduled every day of the week. I was just emotionally and physically drained and had to be honest with God and my disciplers that I can’t do it all and I need grace. Grace. That’s something I’ve always struggled with accepting. What was refreshing about this week was actually my sister’s wedding. Just being with family and friends and being able to celebrate my sister and Erick, and Jesus’ love for the church was amazing. I cried more than I thought I would… I think I even cried more than Amy! It was a exhausting, but a joyous occasion.

And now comes this week, a week focused on prayer. To be honest, I am a bit glad Project is ending because I’m getting exhausted. I’m excited to physically rest (juggling two jobs has been more difficult than I thought and they’re only part time! I fear for the future where I have to actually have a full-time job) and also just be by myself. Don’t get me wrong, I love everyone here and I do want to get to more people more deeply before I leave, but it’s tough living in community. I’m an introvert and so I prefer to spend my nights alone and just doing things at my own slow pace, but there’s always something going on here. I’m sure I’ll miss everyone as soon as I’m back home (it only took me two days to start missing USC when summer started).

As for a job update, working at Tilly’s has actually been more difficult than Abercrombie & Fitch (Super surprising, right?!). Last week I realized, at a work-training day, that all of the workers at Tilly’s are super extroverted and I felt like I was the oddball. I didn’t converse with others as easily or build close relationships as I hoped. Not only that, but one of my managers has been giving me a hard time (I work at a slower pace than the rest and I’ve noticed that I easily get exhausted, plus I’ve found that I’m pretty bad at multitasking. I prefer focusing my attention on one job and pouring everything into it before moving on to something else). I’ve been trying to at least meet my manager’s expectations, but my attempts don’t seem suffice. As for A&F, I’ve actually had more opportunities to talk to other coworkers and get to know them on a more personal level. Who would have thought! I have less shifts there, but I’m actually glad when I get to step in that perfume-bottle of a store.

My prayer requests of the week are:

-       I met a Taiwanese girl who is going to Santa Monica College in the Fall and she’s interested in meeting up with me once she moves down here. Pray that our relationship will continue past Project and that I would keep her in my heart and pursue her.

-       I met another girl named Kathryn who is a Mormon. She talked about desiring to get closer to God, but saw it was something she would only earn through works. I pray that she would attend one of our events and see what the body of Christ looks like and how she can have a personal relationship with Jesus. And that she doesn’t have to earn God’s love, but that He freely gives it.

-       For energy. I want to be revitalized so I would be able to set time aside for people here so that I can intentionally get to know them. I also want to end my last two weeks strong by going out and sharing and growing as much as I can.

-       For my quiet times. I’ve been spending less quiet time with God and instead of listening to Him, I started to revert back to my old tendencies of depending on myself. Pray that I will always fully depend on Him and seek Him for wisdom through studying the Word and prayer.

-       Please pray for my jobs. I only have two more weeks to get to know my coworkers more and minister to them. A month doesn’t seem like enough time to get to know people super well in the workplace and share with them, but I know God is all powerful and He can and will move hearts. Pray that I may trust in that and act in boldness.

-       And lastly, please pray for everyone on Santa Monica Summer Project. We’re all struggling with different things and trying to make it through the next two weeks. Pray that we would step out in boldness and love and that more people would get to know Jesus in Santa Monica.

Passing the Torch

The staff is gone. They literally vanished.

            I am not sure if I filled all of you in on exactly what was going on with the staff, but basically they were here for a month discipling and equipping us. However after the month was up, they gave us leadership roles and left and we, the students, will be running the Project from here on out.

            We had a banquet on the staff’s last day and at the end of the night, we had a candlelight service where each staff member passed on the torch of leadership to us… quite literally (they passed the flame on their candles to ours). So if you’re wondering which leadership position was given to me, I am now my Action Group’s leader. This means I have the privilege to disciple three ladies (Rachel, Morgan, and Gabby—a new addition from another group) and lead a weekly Bible study. This is the first time I will be discipling other people and I have to say I’m coming into it (surprisingly) calmly. One of my friends actually asked me to disciple her earlier this year and I was apprehensive about it. I didn’t feel prepared. But being at Project, growing as much as I have, understanding and depending on the Holy Spirit, and seeing the value of vulnerability (thanks to Jenny), I know that I will be as ready as I’ll ever be and am excited to build up relationships with these girls.

            Now for the ‘vanished’ bit. In case you were confused about my use of this word, after each staff member passed on their flame (the ceremony was overwhelming and extremely touching), we prayed together and while everyone’s head was down, they exited. They were so quiet! I’m talking about 20-some staff members leaving as silent as a mouse. If anything, I’m impressed they were able to pull it off! By the time we said “Amen,” they were gone.

            Also lately, we had an International Dinner. Now, I’m not suppose to divulge into what happened (just in case any of my readers are thinking about going on Project—they’d lose the lesson and surprise) but I’ll just say I was in Asia and leave you with this lovely picture! ~^_^~

            And now I want to talk about Miss Jenny D’Orazio (and soon-to-be Mrs. Bell! I’ll get to that soon!). I know I’ve already blogged so much about her, but she has been such a blessing and impact on my life. Not only is she so filled with so much joy (which is more often than not a fruit of the spirit that I’m lacking), but also has a deep discernment of people. She is able to connect with everyone she talks to and as a result, is able to build meaningful conversations and relationships. With that being said, I will miss her. And as for the Mrs. Bell comment, she got engaged! The day she was going to drive back to Arizona, her boyfriend Paul came and surprised her. I wasn’t able to witness the momentous occasion, but got to see pictures online and I have to say I’m so overjoyed for her.

            Finally, I want to tell you about the wonderful evening I just had with the Bresnik’s. Trinity Baptist set up a program called “Adopt Cru” where families volunteer to have us over at their houses for dinner or dessert. I was one of six students who had dessert at the Bresnik’s and it was such a wonderful, heart-warming experience. Ruth and Randy are an elderly couple that are teeming with life. Ruth baked lemon bars, lemon cake, and chocolate cake, as well as bought and heated up an apple pie. We got to talk to them about ourselves, but also listen to their stories. Ruth is a bit sassy and adorable while Randy is super grounded and just oozing with wisdom and comfort. We were so blessed to be there and there were times when my eyes started to well up because I thought of how wonderful it is to see a Christian couple so in love with each other and Jesus. I hope I get to see them again. I often forget how much wisdom older people have and how wonderful it is to hear their stories and share my own story with them. 

Prayer requests:

-       I met a girl named Michka today and she was raised Jewish and her dad is actually a rabbi. She said she desired a more intimate relationship with God and sees Him in nature and all around her and that He’s always reaching out to her. She also spoke of how Christians have this innate desire to do good and she respects and admires that. I pray that she’ll have more opportunities to meet other Christians in her life and that she will realize she can have an intimate relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

-       Pray for wisdom for all students in how to run the rest of Summer Project and that we will speak to each other with grace and truth.

-       There’s actually so much going on around me right now that it’s a bit overwhelming. My sister’s wedding is coming up so I desire to be there for her and I have to write a speech. AH! Also, I have family in town (‘cause of the wedding) so I want to be able to serve them and take them around town. And then there’s film school and the fact that I need to come up with a full script by August 20^th. Pray that I have wisdom in how to handle each and every situation and that I would be able to lay everything in God’s hands fully.

-       Please pray for my relationships with my new disciples. This is uncharted territory!

-       And lastly, please pray for my relationships with my coworkers. I’m finding it hard to have deep conversations with them and time to even get to know them. One coworker named Clinton actually sat down with me for lunch and I got to know a bit about his background. He told me that he works at A&F because of the people, which surprised me because I feel like the people at A&F seem a bit distant. Pray that I will be bolder in getting to know them and that there will be opportunities to share the Gospel with them. 

Work It!

            Here I am sitting in a laundry mat with a telanovela blaring in front of me and the smell of warm laundry sweeping over me in waves—it’s a good day. Actually, this is my first day without work since Abercrombie & Fitch and Tilly’s hired me a couple of weeks ago. I want to thank you so much for praying for me and my job search for the past few weeks. For a couple of weeks, I walked into practically every store on 3^rd Street Promenade picking up and turning in applications. And if I wasn’t on the Promenade, I was sending a mass amount of applications online. I believe I applied to 40+ jobs total! I’ve never hustled so hard for a job (granted, these are my first official jobs) and it was an incredibly humbling experience.

            A&F were the first to offer me a job and I admit I was a bit hesitant. A&F is the one store I actually avoid at the mall because the shop never seemed to be “my scene.” I didn’t own any A&F clothing and thought the store was repulsively perfumed. Plus, I personally did not like how they have half-naked men in the front greeting customers and asking them if they’d like a picture with them. The shop is very image-based and I just applied out of a whim, not really taking it seriously. Well, as God always does, He surprised me with this job opportunity. I joked with my sister that half-naked men need Jesus too, but is actuality A&F might be a place that does really need Jesus and it’ll be interested to develop relationships with my coworkers.

            As for Tilly’s, I actually love this store and thought the whole interview process was extremely fun and reaffirmed for me that this is a place I want to work. During our interview, people kept on cracking jokes and the hiring manager, Nicole, kept emphasizing building relationships with each other and the customers. Perfect! That’s exactly what I want to do and unlike at A&F, I wouldn’t be stuck in the back room (at A&F I’m an Impact Team Member, which means I work in the back and don’t really get to talk to customers. Only Models get to do that). When Tilly’s called to hire me, I was excited because I could see how at this job relationships would easily and quickly form. My only hesitation with working at Tilly’s is that I would be balancing two jobs, but both are part time.

            After working for a week, I have to say I enjoy working at both shops. A&F has longer shifts and less opportunities for employees to talk to each other, but they are pretty organized and I like how I’m constantly on my feet doing something. As for Tilly’s, I fely like they didn’t really train me (despite the fact that I spent four hours reading their manuals and watching sexual harassment videos). I was kind of was placed in the middle of everything and had to learn as I went. However, I get to talk to customers and coworkers all the time and everyone is friendly. We even have walkie-talkies and are constantly updating each other on what’s going on the in the store. I love helping customers, remembering their names (“Thanks for shopping here Andrew!” “Whoa! You remembered my name?!”), and just getting a chance to find out why they are in Santa Monica. I didn’t realize how many foreigners come to Santa Monica! I even got to use my Mandarin (which I admit isn’t very good) and helped a mom buy four pairs of jeans for her son.

            As for an update on everything else that’s going on on Summer Project, the staff is going to leave by the end of this week. Time really does fly by here and I am sad to see them all go, especially my discipler Jenny. She is an amazing woman and she’s helped me so much with knowing who I am and how to find my identity in Christ. No other person has ever affirmed me as much as she has. One particular memory that stands out to me when thinking about her was our first discipleship. Growing up, I never really felt beautiful for who I was and struggled with finding my worth as a result. I tried to find my identity and worth in accomplishments and found affirmation through those means. As I was sharing this with Jenny, she started tearing up and said, “I don’t understand how anyone could ever not think you’re beautiful. You are so beautiful.” And then I cried. Here is someone who I just met, but who saw me as a beautiful child of God, something I couldn't fully realize until coming on Project. It will be interesting to see how students will run the rest of Summer Project and I just pray that we will be able to love each other and speak truth and grace so that we may grow as a body. Some of us have already been given leadership roles, but we’re not announcing anything until tonight (so that means I won’t even been blogging about which roles I have until my next entry!).

            This past week I only went out sharing once. Chris and I met this man named Gary who was raised Catholic and fascinated with history. He believes in the Gospel, but is more apathetic towards whether or not the Gospel needs to be shared or that other people need saving. Rather, he thinks everyone has his or her own truth. I think he lacks a personal relationship with Jesus and I pray that he will seek that relationship and that the Holy Spirit will convict his heart to believe in the one Truth. I also, in a sense, went out sharing this past Sunday but used phones and letters as a medium rather than physically going out. We focused on our spheres of influence—people who are involved in our lives, who we have personal relationships with. For me, this is one of the most difficult groups of people to share my faith with because there seems to be more on the line. There’s a relationship you built that could possible be changed for the worse, broken even. Funnily enough, I kind of ranked the people I was going to call based upon who would be the most open to hear what I have to say and every person, except for the last one, was unavailable to talk. God was really challenging me and I ended up having a great conversation with that person. I didn’t get to share the Gospel, but did share what I was doing this summer and got to pray for her. I hope that God will continue to foster this relationship and I’m excited about that.

My prayer requests for this week are:

-       That I will develop close relationships with my coworkers and be able to eventually share the Gospel with them

-       That we, the students, will work well together and build each other up seeing as the staff is about to leave

-       Pray for boldness with sharing my faith, especially with those close to my heart

-       Pray that we will be able to raise $36,000 before the staff leaves. Many other students haven’t finished raising support and we need as much help as possible. You can give online—just go to the website provided and choose to “give a gift” (the money will be under my name, but go to the other students)  You can give here: https://give.cru.org/give/View/5630184?pp=

-       Oh! And I’m recovering from a cold right now. Actually many of us are sick. Pray for our health!

            As usual, I’m writing a super long entry. There’s just too much to say! Along with working and evangelizing, we’ve also been able to have lots of fun and build community. With that being said, I’ll leave you with these pictures...

 Love love love,

Cindy

*AH! I forgot to mention that some USC kids came and visited me! Oh my goodness, I was so happy they came and love them all so so much. I am so blessed to have such an awesome family at USC Cru.

**I realized I have too much I want to share... this entry is long, but not LONG ENOUGH! Oy... if you have the chance to meet up with me after Summer Project, I'd love to go through the 1000+ pictures I've taken and share with you every last detail. =)

***If you do feel led by God to support the other students financially, please give me your name so I can thank you!